If Cardinal Bloomberg has his way, you will no longer be able to smoke a cigarette in a New York City bar.

Let me repeat that. You will not. Be able. To smoke a cigarette. In New York City. In a fucking bar. I’m waiting to hear that you can only drink milk and cookies while you’re there. I cannot imagine more clear evidence that the anti-smoking crusade has totally lost its mind. They can’t even trot out the usual noxious whine of “for the children” this time: adolescents aren’t typically found in Manhattan pubs.

Now, New Yorkers (to say nothing of bar owners) aren’t fond of being told they can’t voluntarily congregate in a smoking environment, so Bloomberg’s had to sell this as an employment law issue, not a nanny-state-has-to-save-you-from-yourself issue. But I’m a bit confused. Going to a bar where smoking’s allowed is obviously a choice. Why isn’t working there? Yeah, I know, some people will prattle about “economic coercion” and how, apparently, where you work isn’t a choice, but

(1) Pfft. Bullshit. and

(2) If that were true, why would it be OK for any aspect of a job to be unpleasant? I mean, they make you work after all. Some people might prefer there weren’t cigarette smoke where they work — though I can’t imagine why they’d take a job at a bar instead of one of the thousands of restaurants where there’s no smoking, when there are plenty of people who don’t mind the smoke — and I’d prefer not to have to be in at 9, or have deadlines. But I like my job despite those things, so I keep it anyway. Why does that particular preference, the preference for a smoke-free workplace, trump the freedom of the bar owner and all its patrons, whereas we expect compromise on those other points? Do roadies for metal bands get to demand that they keep down that gosh-darn racket, lest it damage their sensitive ears? and

(3) Aren’t they going to be even more “economically coerced” when marginal bars close down because nicotine fiends like me aren’t going to waste four hours at a bar if we can’t have a cig with our Gin and Tonics? I mean, obviously, if the customers wanted to hang out in a sterile preschool, tons of bars would already be smoke-free. So apparently my preference isn’t unique. Bloomberg had better get a grassroots ass-whupping over this one.