What could possibly be more glib, insufferable, and smug that Thomas Friedman’s New York Times column? Why, Tom Friedman on the radio! Marvel at his noxious Director of Human Resources tic of addressing the host by his first name every fifteen seconds. Wonder at his limitless capacity for self-congratulation. And gape in awe as Friedman responds, at this stage of play, to criticisms of his war advocacy thus:

Next time, I really promise I will be a better liberal. I will not in any way support any effort to bring democracy to a country ruled by an oiled-backed tyranny… I promise I will be a better liberal. I will view the prospect of Arabs forging a democracy as utterly impossible. They’re incapable of democracy, I agree with you on that now…

Friedman also announced his offer to personally fund the war with the gold bricks from his daily bowel movements.