This has apparently been around for quite a while, but BoingBoing just linked to an amusing Brian Weatherson post listing some philosophical break-up lines. My favorites:

The Humean: Just because weâ??re always together doesnâ??t mean we BELONG together.
The Quinean: Iâ??m sorry, but you donâ??t mean anything to me anymore.
The Content Externalist: Ever since we moved, youâ??ve changed. (It’s hilarious if you read Putnam, just trust me.)