Lemme take a break from all that brow-furrowing to relate something I heard on the local NPR affiliate this morning. The announcer informed all those potential corporate donors out there in radioland that underwriting spots on NPR “get results.” Results? (I asked, in my best Polyanna falsetto) What on earth could those results possibly be? Of course, they mean the result of getting the attention (and perhaps winning the admiration) of potential customers: the same results advertising delivers. But of course, this is saintly “non-commercial” radio, even if a Honda underwriting spot on PBS is indistinguishable, except in length, from a Honda commercial. So they can’t make reference to, say, the large audience NPR reaches. That would bring it too close to the surface; they’ve got to speak euphemistically about unspecified “results.” Is anyone actually fooled by this? Wouldn’t it be less insulting of them to simply say: “Yes, we air commercials, but they’re really short and unobtrusive. They’re also hella expensive given the duration of the plug, so be as impressed by the advertiser’s generous support as you are by their product.”